A prelude to spring

De siste ukene har generelt vært prega av mye sosialt samvær, men i helga tok det virkelig av, og det har vært så deilig! Filmkveld/vinkveld/firemannsparty med Janin, Sara og Stian på fredag, hungoverpiknik/strikkeparty på plenen med Janin og Sara på lørdag, så dukka Stian opp igjen og vi lagde taco, og til sist joina Steph og Julie oss for Star Wars-maraton(vi orka bare fire og fem though, så vi fullfører vel en gang til helga). På søndag inviterte Jon og Anu på sol på "verandaen", og det ble en fin gjeng der og, og flere runder med bønnespillet. Sitter igjen med den gode følelsen av vår, og kan ikke annet enn å glede meg til tida framover.

Stjernestøv

"For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth."

N.T.

Eller som Nietzsche sa: "You must have chaos inside you to give birth to a dancing star". Kanskje nettopp fordi dette skoleåret har vært av de vanskeligste, hardeste, vondeste og mest utfordrende i hele mitt liv, så har jeg nå kommet inn på en skole jeg virkelig ville inn på, og jeg skal få danse i hvert fall tre år til. Og det blir sikkert ikke mindre vanskelig, hardt, vondt og utfordrende, men forhåpentligvis av bedre grunner og på bedre måter, om man kan si noe sånt. Jeg gleder meg i hvert fall, noe helt utrolig.

We're never alone in anything

“Your body is made of the same elements that lionesses are built from. Three quarters of you is the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away. Your DNA translates into the same twenty amino acids that wolf genes code for. When you look in the mirror and feel weak, remember, the air you breathe in fuels forest fires capable of destroying everything they touch. On the days you feel ugly, remember: diamonds are only carbon. You are so much more.”

- idayumumtaz

Practical Advice for Difficult Women (#20 - 9th December)

There will come a time when you want to cut off all your hair. Do it. Realise that the thing you want rid of doesn’t lie in the long curls that frame your face so perfectly. Live with short hair for a while. It’ll grow.

You won’t always want to talk to people. That’s okay. When it’s late and you hear your friends talking in the next room, you don’t have to join them. You’re allowed your solitude. It makes company sweeter and it teaches you how to survive alone. You will need that skill.

In the winter, you’ll believe that nothing will ever grow again. You’re wrong. Every year, London looks like it’s on its last legs, wheezing through those last cold days in March. Every year, spring comes like an explosion and the city shakes off its sleep.

Mundane problems will get the better of you sometimes. Don’t worry. Try as you might, life cannot be an endless, beautiful, intense moment. Find comfort in money worries and late trains; they’re a welcome rest in between heartbreaks and breakdowns.

People will call you a cynic, a wry smile on their faces. Pay them no mind. You alone know that you are capable of a love greater than anything they can comprehend. You alone know that you are not willing to sell your identity and respect to the first smirking halfwit to pass by. It is not cynicism. It is reverence for your own vast and fathomless heart, and it makes sense only to love someone who understands that and is awed by it.

You will not always get what you want when you want it. Accept it. Your goals are not set in stone and you are not on a fixed trajectory. Sometimes, life will take its time and you will have to play the long, interminable game. Play it well and with as much grace as you can muster. Live at your own pace.

At night, you will occasionally wake up afraid, wanting to die. Don’t give in. Night plays its tricks, but you are not so easily fooled. Your mind will play its tricks, too. It will make you believe that you’re not who you are, but you must not give in. You take a breath and you tell yourself that you are here. That you always were.

- Love, hunt me down